end of the year

Today is December 31, 2008 the year is ending and sadly this time its ending on a very sad note for me....nin nan jothe illa and inyavathu iralla:-( i have decided to change my life completely from tom. I want to forget u but i know i will never ever be able to do that. i love u more than myself and its ur name i breathe so i can forget u only after i stop breathing...
u know something, i was in such a lovely place yesterday he was with me and u wont believe theres not been a single second i didnt think of u...u were there on my mind throughout...even when i am talking to him i was thinking abt u........pche i love u so much gotta!
U said it's all over and u dont want to even remember or talk abt the past but it has never been a thing of past what do i do? I have to live with a man whom i dont love forever in my life till my last breathe...
you said my decisions are not made by me and that is why u dont love me bt u know something i made this decision. It was me who decided to go back to him only after realising that nothing will work. we will not be able to convince my parents or him. I was sure i will not get divorced and he will ensure my life becomes as miserable as it get i was ready to face all this but not at ur cost.....i didnt want to trouble u....,may be u dont want to believe all this and u might laugh it out but i am being honest.
When i see u in office, my heart really skips a beat i will be all prepared to face u and i will be all convinced to forget u and talk to u just like a friend but.....it doesnt happen so....why....i dont know..... may be coz that's love!
I LOVE YOU AND ONLY YOU!!!!! WISH U A VERY VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR! MAY ALL UR DREAMS COME TRUE.............