Feeling so insulted

Hiiiii
yako gotilla manasu bhara bhara ansta ide chinnu:-( en gotta nin nanna eshtu avoid madta idiya,ignore madta idiya andre nange nan melene asaya ansak shuru agogide:-( feeling miserable. I think its high time I came out of this...ishtu dina i atleast had ths blog to express my feelings for u but nange itichege aa feelings bandrene asayya ansak shuru agide...on one side, I am trying to convince u to love me when i know there is no outcome of this relationship on the other I am trying to tell myself that I shouldnt be loving u and I should stop having feelings for u. At this stage of my life, I am so confused though I clearly know its only u and ur love that i want. I am so unlucky chinnu, I can never get u, i can never make u mine:-(.
Every time when u dont reply to my msgs I feel like killing myself, there have been many times i have even stood in front of the mirror and cursed myself for behaving like this.
Hey, sooner or later u will get married, u will have a wife, a family how will I face all that. I have decided I am not gonna come backto journalism, this break i am going to take will be the end of it. I cannot face u and I will never be able to work with u.
Every second i live in this constant insecurity. I am constantly worried abt u forgetting me. Everytime u get rude with me I feel u have lost all respect for me and look at me like one cheap.................. pche gotilla kano yako ivatu eneno ansta ide...belige i have cried for almost an hour, munche atleast if i cry i could immediatley call u and tell u that i cried but now i cannot even tell this to u....i dont even know if u remember there is one such blog in which i am pourin gout my feelings...i dont know if all this will have any effect on u. may be u dont even want to know. I know u r trying to come out of this relationship and come to terms with whatever i did to u....but why am i stuck here:-( whycant i just come out of this NOW. I feel so insulted, irritated, frustrated, depressed always, emotional fool........i am tired of this. my self esteem is being hit majorly , i am feeling like i have no self respect and I feel everyone around me is walking over me....its a miserable feeeling:-( i hate myself
good night
bye